I am THAT Mum

I am THAT Mum.
The one who pesters the teachers.
The one who emails.
Again.
Another thought.
Another suggestion.
Another quick thing you should probably know.

Before I became THAT Mum, 
I was just a regular mum. 
An I don’t want to be a bother, don't make a fuss, everything will be fine mum.
A regular mum, of a regular child.

But was he?
“No need to worry, all kids do that.”
But maybe?
Is that?
Should he? 
Wordless questions, undefined, sat unasked.
Because nobody wants to be THAT Mum.
So, a regular mum I continued to be.

But I knew he deserved more than that. 
He deserved more than a regular mum,
because he needed more than a regular mum.
For he was not a regular child.
And so as he grew, I needed to grow too.
To become the mum he needed me to be.
And the mum he needed, was THAT Mum.

So I became the mum who had to fight to find the words to speak on his behalf.
The mum who had to voice her wordless questions.
To push my doubt harder than they pushed theirs.
To learn the questions I needed to ask,
to find the answers I needed to consider,
to get the knowledge I needed to know, 
so that I could have the words I needed to speak,
to give him the chances he deserved to take.

To explain that he wasn’t just a regular child.
Even though he looked like it.
To explain, and explain and explain again.
Everything.
Every thing. 
Every normal little thing. 
Because normal little things are not little things when you aren’t a normal child. 
Little things are big things. 
Unless there is someone who paves the way. Someone who prepares.
Someone who emails.
Someone who gives a heads up, a suggestion, a one little thing that might be helpful to know.
A one little thing that may have the power to turn the big thing back into a little thing so that he may have the pleasure of looking like a normal child, doing normal things.

He works so hard to achieve normal. 
But while he’s at it, he achieves extraordinary. 
And as I celebrate all who he has become thus far, I will take my position on the invisible podium behind him. And I will celebrate who I have become. 
THAT Mum. Who keeps on asking even when I don’t have the words to ask. 
THAT Mum. Who keeps on keeping on, with one more meeting, one more email, one more visit, one more plan, for as long as one more is needed.
THAT Mum. Whose mind is never free from predicting the next little thing, that might be a big thing.
THAT Mum. Who continues to make mistakes but continues to forgive herself.
THAT Mum. Who never gives up.
THAT Mum. Who found her voice and found her courage and found herself.
THAT Mum. Who will hold her head high and be the parent he needs me to be. No matter what. Because he deserves to have a mum, who is THAT Mum.
He deserves the best me, I can be.
THAT Mum.

Dear parents who understand. You are THAT Mum or THAT Dad. You have earned the title, wear it with pride.